Sometimes I forget about all of the good things I have in my life. Wednesday was HORRIBLE. Probably the worst day I have had in awhile. School was just rough. I couldn't stay concentrated and I'm pretty sure I cried in every single class period. Jeff is the best. He came over after school and just sat with me while I cried for a bit. He really is the best. Josh got his call. Once everyone texted me to tell me where he was going (Argentina), I just lost it. I'm pretty sure I sat in my room sobbing for an hour. Pathetic, I know. I think part of it was I am just so unbelievably proud of him. That boy will be the best missionary out there. No doubt in my mind. I've just been so stressed about life. Third term kicked me in the bootay. Worst grades I have ever gotten. I'm pretty sure I got a 3.5, which is bad in my parents book. So that was great. I'm sick again. Twice this month. AWESOME. Not really. But it's fine. My immune system is just weak. Whatevs.
Anywho, while I was sititng in my room, crying my eyes out (definite mascara running down my face. That was a new experience. Not a fan) Mags texted me saying she was coming over. This girl has seriously been such a blessing in my life. I love her to pieces. So yeah, she came over and the first thing she says to me? "I have the Les Mis soundtrack blasting right now." MUSIC TO MY EARS. LITERALLY. So we get in her car, and just drive. She doesn't say anything and just lets me cry. So, I do. I cry and cry and cry. I've gotten pretty good about not crying in front of people, but that all went out the door Wednesday. We made it to West Point park and we just sat there. I just exploded. I named off almost everything that was going on. There are still things I kept to myself, because let's be honest. That's just the person I am. But I told her how I felt like my life was just bad. Her response? "Okay. You've said all the bad things, but I think you've forgotten the good things you have." I know I'm blessed. I know I have things in my life that other people aren't given. We just sat and she started naming off things about me that were good and positive. My favorites? I'm a little psychotic, but still funny. And I have good hygenie. HOLLA.
The tears finally stopped after awhile and we were just laughing. It was good to get a lot of the things I was feeling out. Once I got home, I went straight to bed. No time for overthinking everything. Waking up Thursday, I had a change of heart. No more negativity. I have less than three months left of high school. I'm done feeling sorry for myself. I tend to forget that there are people who have it a lot worse than I do. I take all my blessings for granted.
When these waves of emotions come on, I seem to always ignore the fact that I'm not alone. I always feel like no one understands and that I am solely in charge of figuring it out for myself. But that is not the case. I have a Savior who died for me and died to take away my pain. He knows exactly what I'm going through and how it feels. That's overwhelming, in a good way. To have a best friend that loves you SO much that He would give anything for you to be okay. It's so comforting to know that I'm not going through things alone. I just need to kneel down and ask for help. The best part of this? He is ALWAYS there. He will never leave me. How we are all so blessed to have that, just baffles me.
My favorite quote of the moment, "It's just a bad day. Not a bad life." I need to remember this. Just because one day sucks, doesn't mean that I have a bad life. I don't. I have an awesome life. I just forget and need a reminder sometimes.
I have the best best friends on the face of the planet. I just need to take a moment and brag about how absolutely spectacular they are. Mags has seriously been an AMAZING example in my life. We've always been friends, nice to each other, a hey in the hall. But these last few weeks, she has seriously become one of my closest friends. I don't think a day goes by where we don't talk. My heart breaks for her. She has been through so much, especially recently. I wish I could help her. She is such an amazing person and doesn't deserve the difficulties she has been dealt. Sandi died about a week ago. That has been so hard for Maggie. I don't know how to help her. I'm trying to be there for her through everything. I'm praying for her. She is so strong, and shouldn't have to be alone in all of this. We invited her to come to St. George with us for Spring Break 2013 this week. She's coming. I couldn't be more excited! She is so loved by my friends. We've introduced her to knew people at Clearfield. Showed her that she is pretty great and that people love her. She's pretty cool. Love her to death. And I'm pretty sure we are super hilarious together when we make our dinosaur noises. It's fine.
Then there is Emily. OH MY GOSH CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE HER. Hahaha, seriously though. Best friend of a lifetime award goes to her. She was gone for ten days. Let me tell ya how much that sucked. We hang out every day. And if we don't hang out, we are texting each other all day, every day. You could say we are weird. But I would disagree. She is going to be an Ambassador at Weber State. Don't know if I've said that in earlier posts. But I'm so proud of her that I'll just say it again! She is going to rock it up there. I'm pretty sure the incoming freshman class will just adore her. No shocker there. The day she got back from California, I skipped second period so we could catch up. Because yes, that is what we do when we haven't seen each other in a week and a half. I'm pretty sure it took us all of three seconds to start catching each other up on everything that happened. We are awesome. She's the best bff I could ever ask for. We've been super pissed lately. All these girls are getting flowers from freaking RANDOM people. Then there is us. Um. Okay. I'm pretty sure we are adorable and hilarious. WHY DO BOYS NOT LOVE US. Really though. I'm sure if you read our text messages, you woud die laughing because we are that funny. You da best, E. Love ya!
Jeffrey freaking Herbert. He gets a small little bit of this. I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have made it through school last year like I did. He may be all grown up and in college, but he has no problem dropping things for his Asher. I love my porcupine. He's been one of the biggset blessings in my life. He is over all the time, or texting me just to check in. He is going to be one amazing husband one day. Have no fear, I already told him I must approve of his wife.
The sun is out, it's warm, spring break starts in a little more than four hours. I'M SO EXCITED.
I've been blessed and I'm grateful for everything I have been given.
Have an amazing weekend, ladies and gents. Can't wait to hear all about it!
Friday, March 29, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Pause On The Play
Okay. So pause on all the positive vibes. I need to vent.
If you've never played soccer, watched it, or taken referee classes... can you please SHUT UP?
Obviously you don't know what you're talking about. Offsides is NOT just a random call they make. It has actually reason. Sometimes it may not be the right call. But there is still justification behind it. You're an idiot if you think that just because someone got shoved, they should get a penalty kick. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.
Learn what stoppage time is. Oh, PLEASE learn what stoppage time is. It isn't just 'extra time'. It's the time you get back from subbing, injuries, all of that jazz. Stop yelling at the ref. Yeah, they are stupid most of the time. But still. They are trying. Just because they make a call against you, doesn't mean you can sit and insult them for the rest of the game.
I hate people that act like they understand my sport. Golden Goal. Please don't just call it more game time. It's not. IT IS GOLDEN GOAL. THERE IS A NAME FOR IT.
I played soccer for 12 years. I'm pretty sure that most soccer girls and guys want to kick you in the jugular if you sit and act like you know what you're talking about. Because half of the time... You have no idea. So please do the world a favor and either learn about soccer, or keep your mouth shut. Don't make fun of a player because they just made a 70 yard sprint and lost the ball. It's hard work out there. You have absolutely no clue what it's like.
There is my rant for the day. Get educated about an amazing sport or shut up. That's all there is to it. Thank you.
Sincerely,
A frustrated soccer player.
If you've never played soccer, watched it, or taken referee classes... can you please SHUT UP?
Obviously you don't know what you're talking about. Offsides is NOT just a random call they make. It has actually reason. Sometimes it may not be the right call. But there is still justification behind it. You're an idiot if you think that just because someone got shoved, they should get a penalty kick. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.
Learn what stoppage time is. Oh, PLEASE learn what stoppage time is. It isn't just 'extra time'. It's the time you get back from subbing, injuries, all of that jazz. Stop yelling at the ref. Yeah, they are stupid most of the time. But still. They are trying. Just because they make a call against you, doesn't mean you can sit and insult them for the rest of the game.
I hate people that act like they understand my sport. Golden Goal. Please don't just call it more game time. It's not. IT IS GOLDEN GOAL. THERE IS A NAME FOR IT.
I played soccer for 12 years. I'm pretty sure that most soccer girls and guys want to kick you in the jugular if you sit and act like you know what you're talking about. Because half of the time... You have no idea. So please do the world a favor and either learn about soccer, or keep your mouth shut. Don't make fun of a player because they just made a 70 yard sprint and lost the ball. It's hard work out there. You have absolutely no clue what it's like.
There is my rant for the day. Get educated about an amazing sport or shut up. That's all there is to it. Thank you.
Sincerely,
A frustrated soccer player.
Monday, March 18, 2013
I Hope They Call Me On A Mission... Plus Some Other Ramblings
I was rereading my patriarchal blessing the other day, and it hit me. I have to serve a mission. It was written so clearly that I was shocked I hadn't noticed it before. As April approaches, so does the realization that I can start my mission papers. Granted, I won't be able to actually leave for quite a few months, but the fact that the process gets to start is so exciting!
All of my friends are getting their calls. Landon and Parker Greenhalgh have been called to serve in Taiwan. Landon: Taichung, leaving July 10. Parker: Taipei, leaving June 26. Zach Lamb was just called to serve in Honduras, San Pedro Sula mission. He leaves June 26, too. I am so unbelievably proud of these boys. They are serious examples in my life. It's going to be hard to say goodbye, but I know that what they are doing is the most important thing right now. I hope and hope and hope they will all be here when I get my call.
Bryson Westbroek had his mission farewell yesterday. He's leaving in April to serve in the West Indies. That kid.. He is a freaking stud. He's going to kick some serious butt down there. Kaelton Heil and Braiden Simmons are getting their calls this week (hopefully). I'm so nervous for the both of them! They both need to get out there and start serving. It will be so good for them to finally be out of here. Jeff's papers are almost submitted. Just waiting on his bishop. Excuse me while I go cry my eyes out.
Between all of these farewells and mission openings, I feel like that is all anyone is focused on anymore! School? Forget about it! This term has been kicking my butt. I need 4th term to start so I can have clear grades and just finish! 81 days. 81 days and I will be graduated from high school. No one understands just how excited I am. High school is Hell, and if someone tells you otherwise, don't trust them. They are obviously a liar or mentally ill. Seriously, though.
My BFF is out of town for the next few days. And let me tell you, IT SUCKS. I have been so bored. This just goes to show that we spend way to much time together. It's fine though; her brother texted me last night saying we need to go out on a sibling date since he feels deserted as well without her. I love the George family. They never fail to make me feel like part of the family.
Senior year. I think we've finally all hit that wall where we don't care what's happened in the last few years. All that matters is that we are going crazy and having fun. Honestly, I don't care anymore about a fight that happened sophomore year when someone said something bad about someone else. It doesn't freaking matter. I've worked things out with some friends, and with others, we've just forgotten about it completely. I love it. I can call anyone on a Saturday night and just hang out. We have proven this to be true. This last Saturday, I was with Mags, Jaycee, Jordan Cobabe, Braiden Simmons, Brennan O'Neil, and Hayden Jardine. Most random group of people? You better believe it. But it was honestly one of the most fun nights I've had in awhile. And we did nothing big. We played basketball (our own version) and watched a movie. But I loved every second of it.
Let me just vent for a second here. Honestly... am I defective? Or mentally not all there? Someone please tell me. Because there must be something totally wrong with me. All these couples walking around school tend to make a girl jealous. But the part that really gets me... some of these people are SUPER WEIRD. Now I'm not judging, if you're happy with someone, be with them. Good for you. That is great. Just don't let me see you making out in the middle of the hallway. That's super nast' and ain't nobody got time fo dat. But seriously. I look at my cute friends and myself and wonder how we are single. I'm pretty sure we are super awesome and everyone should love us. I might be bias. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that I'm not the prettiest girl around town. But I don't think I'm completely hideous. I mean... sometimes my hair is really nice. Sometimes. It's just disheartening to walk around school and see all these happy lovey-dovey couples and people who are just 'in love' and realize that it's been over a year since your last REAL relationship. And I get it, it's all in God's timing. When I'm supposed to be with someone, I will be. I'm just sayin', it would be a lot of fun to actually date around. Not just spend your weekends watching movies with the same five people. Maybe that's just me though. SO. Dear Stripling Warrior that God is sending my way.. Try not to get lost. Because I'm already impatient.
I'm so grateful for my friends. They have been so great these last few weeks. We've been rebellious, crazy teenagers that we've needed to be. I'm grateful for the gospel in my life. I seriously would be so lost without it. I know that I've been blessed with a family that loves me, and friends that care. I'm grateful for the George's. I'd be going insane if it wasn't for them. They've totally taken me in as one of their own and I'm loving it. Senior year, you've been good to me. I am so excited for you to be done with though. Bring on the real world, my mission, and growing up. I'm ready for some new challenges.
Until next time,
LATER SKATERS
-Court
All of my friends are getting their calls. Landon and Parker Greenhalgh have been called to serve in Taiwan. Landon: Taichung, leaving July 10. Parker: Taipei, leaving June 26. Zach Lamb was just called to serve in Honduras, San Pedro Sula mission. He leaves June 26, too. I am so unbelievably proud of these boys. They are serious examples in my life. It's going to be hard to say goodbye, but I know that what they are doing is the most important thing right now. I hope and hope and hope they will all be here when I get my call.
Bryson Westbroek had his mission farewell yesterday. He's leaving in April to serve in the West Indies. That kid.. He is a freaking stud. He's going to kick some serious butt down there. Kaelton Heil and Braiden Simmons are getting their calls this week (hopefully). I'm so nervous for the both of them! They both need to get out there and start serving. It will be so good for them to finally be out of here. Jeff's papers are almost submitted. Just waiting on his bishop. Excuse me while I go cry my eyes out.
Between all of these farewells and mission openings, I feel like that is all anyone is focused on anymore! School? Forget about it! This term has been kicking my butt. I need 4th term to start so I can have clear grades and just finish! 81 days. 81 days and I will be graduated from high school. No one understands just how excited I am. High school is Hell, and if someone tells you otherwise, don't trust them. They are obviously a liar or mentally ill. Seriously, though.
My BFF is out of town for the next few days. And let me tell you, IT SUCKS. I have been so bored. This just goes to show that we spend way to much time together. It's fine though; her brother texted me last night saying we need to go out on a sibling date since he feels deserted as well without her. I love the George family. They never fail to make me feel like part of the family.
Senior year. I think we've finally all hit that wall where we don't care what's happened in the last few years. All that matters is that we are going crazy and having fun. Honestly, I don't care anymore about a fight that happened sophomore year when someone said something bad about someone else. It doesn't freaking matter. I've worked things out with some friends, and with others, we've just forgotten about it completely. I love it. I can call anyone on a Saturday night and just hang out. We have proven this to be true. This last Saturday, I was with Mags, Jaycee, Jordan Cobabe, Braiden Simmons, Brennan O'Neil, and Hayden Jardine. Most random group of people? You better believe it. But it was honestly one of the most fun nights I've had in awhile. And we did nothing big. We played basketball (our own version) and watched a movie. But I loved every second of it.
Let me just vent for a second here. Honestly... am I defective? Or mentally not all there? Someone please tell me. Because there must be something totally wrong with me. All these couples walking around school tend to make a girl jealous. But the part that really gets me... some of these people are SUPER WEIRD. Now I'm not judging, if you're happy with someone, be with them. Good for you. That is great. Just don't let me see you making out in the middle of the hallway. That's super nast' and ain't nobody got time fo dat. But seriously. I look at my cute friends and myself and wonder how we are single. I'm pretty sure we are super awesome and everyone should love us. I might be bias. Now don't get me wrong, I understand that I'm not the prettiest girl around town. But I don't think I'm completely hideous. I mean... sometimes my hair is really nice. Sometimes. It's just disheartening to walk around school and see all these happy lovey-dovey couples and people who are just 'in love' and realize that it's been over a year since your last REAL relationship. And I get it, it's all in God's timing. When I'm supposed to be with someone, I will be. I'm just sayin', it would be a lot of fun to actually date around. Not just spend your weekends watching movies with the same five people. Maybe that's just me though. SO. Dear Stripling Warrior that God is sending my way.. Try not to get lost. Because I'm already impatient.
I'm so grateful for my friends. They have been so great these last few weeks. We've been rebellious, crazy teenagers that we've needed to be. I'm grateful for the gospel in my life. I seriously would be so lost without it. I know that I've been blessed with a family that loves me, and friends that care. I'm grateful for the George's. I'd be going insane if it wasn't for them. They've totally taken me in as one of their own and I'm loving it. Senior year, you've been good to me. I am so excited for you to be done with though. Bring on the real world, my mission, and growing up. I'm ready for some new challenges.
Until next time,
LATER SKATERS
-Court
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
I Just Need A Minute
I've been doing so much better. I haven't felt the need to call or text you or anything. Then I saw you post about your mission papers. I'm so unbelievably proud of you for getting them in. I know you're going to be the very best missionary out there. It just sucks to think I probably won't get to say goodbye. You'll get your call in two weeks (give or take). I won't be there for that. I'll have to find out through Facebook or twitter. It sucks, ya know? Talking about it since we were little and not being able to see it REALLY happen for you. You'll get your call, and in a few months, you'll be off on an adventure somewhere in the world. I would love to tell you how proud I am of you. And how much I will miss you. But, how things are right now, I'm not going to get that chance. You were the very best friend I could ask for. You're an amazing kid, and I know that you are going to touch so many lives. Thank you for being that example that I needed in my own life. I don't know where I would have ended up without you. I just hope and pray we can talk before you leave and work something out. Start fresh, maybe. It's been over a year... I think the silence is past its time.
I love you, best friend. Always will. I'll always be your Hammy Wammy.
I love you, best friend. Always will. I'll always be your Hammy Wammy.
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