Good Weekends

My weekend, you ask? It was fantastic! I seriously have some of the greatest friends anyone could ask for. This school year is ending on a good note. On Thursday, Britt and I went to Salt Lake to go to her friends graduation. It was fun to hang out down there and act like adults! Friday, I decided to leave school early and go to the Scadlock's home. Britt and I hung out with her brother, Kyle. It was such a crazy few hours. Kyle thought he was cool and started showing me card tricks...again. Then we played pool and started wrestling. We did that for about an hour, until Kyle hit me in the face with a flying card and broke a clothes hanger on Brittany's arm. Needless to say, he owed us big time. He took us to Zeppes and bought us some yummy Italian Ice and gelata! Afterwards, we headed to my house to make fried chicken for dinner. Emily came over and we just relaxed for a bit. We headed to Scott's house to hang out with some other friends. It honestly was the most easy-going, relaxed, and fun party. I am grateful for the people Heavenly Father is putting in my life these days. Saturday, Emily, Landon, Parker, and I headed to the Bountiful temple! It was pouring rain, the car didn't drive right, and there was accident after accident. We believe Satan did not want us to go and do baptisms. We got there and did baptisms.. it was the most needed day. After we got home, Britt and I had a sister movie night. I love how chill my friends are!

I know things have been difficult, but I feel like the more I am trying to better myself, the better my life is going. I love my friends, and I'm grateful for knowing they are here for me.

Junior Year

Well here we are. At the close of another school year. And I am not ashamed to say I'm happy to see it go. This has been the craziest, most emotionally, mentally, and physically draining year of my life. Coming into this year, I thought it would be great. I would have all my friends, soccer would be perfect, and I would just be a regular teenage girl. Boy was I wrong! I don't know what happened, but people changed. And that's okay! Everyone does, and most of the time it is for the better. Personally, I know I changed A LOT. But it's made me a stronger person inside and out. I'm no longer friends with a lot of the people I was closest with. Would I do anything for them on anyday? Absolutely. Even if we don't talk now, they were a big part of my life and I'm always going to be there for them.
Emotionally...this year was hard for everyone is Davis Country. Specifically Clearfield and Syracuse High. Between losing our friends due to suicide, it took a toll on a lot of us. It made me realize that life is so fragile. You have to be conscious with everything you say to someone. You don't know the battles they are currently fighting. Tanner, Sam, Zack...you boys are always in my heart. I miss you all so much. I know you guys are looking over us though and sending us your love.
I lost my best friend this year. Nothing happened to him, we just grew apart. And it eats at me ever single day. I still have hope that one day we will work out our issues and be able to talk again. It's been officially three months since we've spoken. 9 years down the drain it feels like. I still love him to death. And he will always hold a special place in my heart that no one can fill. Love you, Broughykins. I hope you are doing well and everything is okay.

Soccer has been a whirlwind this year. High school season we should have dominated, but sadly struggled throughout the whole season. I definitely made some amazing friends and grew stronger. I've made the decision I am done with soccer. I don't have the drive for it anymore. I love my comp team with all my heart, but I don't love the sport. I've made the decision I am going to run cross country. I love it and I know I'm good at it. I think it will be such a good experience for me. I have one tournament with my comp team left.. we will see how it goes. It will be an emotional time for a lot of the girls. We are all sisters. We used to be so distant from each other, but now we all are so close. They were my best friends when I didn't like myself, my city, or my school.

Best friends always. I love my girls, my coach, and what I gave 11 years of my life to. I'm grateful for the experiences I had from this whole thing. I wouldn't take it back for anything.

It's not that school was hard this year. It was just draining. It seemed that no matter what, I couldn't agree with my Chemistry teacher. That took a toll on me and the entire class. No one wanted to be there. It seemed that everything just wore me out. Especially after having mono, strep, AND bronchitits. After that, I just couldn't focus. Those three months of being sick were horrible. I kept my grades up though, which I thought was a stressful task. I've come to the point where I wear jeans and a soccer shirt to school. And MAYBE mascara. I know, I've been looking lovely. But I just don't care anymore!

I'm so grateful for the gospel in my life. This year has been a test to see what I can live through. I don't know where I would be without the Church in my life. I'm in the middle of the Book of Mormon for the second time. I am catching things I didn't see or understand the first time I've gone through it. I'm grateful for a gospel that allows me to repent and know of the atonement. My life would be flipped all around with it as a steady rock.

Junior year, GOODBYE. It is time for us to part.. Thankfully. Summer? Be good to me. I want to be a teenager and have one of the most unforgettable summers yet. Senior year? Bring it on. :)

The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

So What Do You Want To Know

• 1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

 The last person was my grandpa. That guy is the best. I love him and all he does for me

• 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Well you see, I'm almost 18. So why not?

• 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Basically any time I talk to someone. I'm a fighter and I go until I win.

• 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Of course. Wouldn't you want a smile from someone random? There are actually good people in the world.

• 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Well if I was dating or talking to someone, I'm sure. As of right now? Flyin' solo.

• 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

If It Means A Lot To You by ADTR. Reminds me of my old best friend and all the crazy stuff we went through.

• 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Favorite jeans with my seatbelt belt-buckle, rings, and a green floral print shirt. Tooo comfy.

• 8. How often do you listen to music?

Just about as often as I blink.

• 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

You'd think being a soccer girl I would wear sweats every day like my team. Or not. Jeans, my dear.

• 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

Do I want it to? little bit. Will it? of course it will.

• 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

Both. I don't care for people, but I get lonely. I'm social when I want to be.

• 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

ohhh yes.

• 13. What about ‘R’?

nope!

• 14. Can you drive a stick shift?

HA. More like i destroy the engine ever single time. So that's a no.

• 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

At some point, it gets old and I just don't care anymore. If you don't like me, that's cool. Keep running your mouth. i'm sure that will make others think more highly of you.

• 16. Are you going out of town soon?

Not for a long while. sadly

• 17. When was the last time you cried?

Saturday? pretty sure. lovely nights when thinking and reminicing get the better of you.

• 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

absolutely. Family, best friends,

• 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

i like my blue-gray eyes. so nope. not in a million years

• 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

there is absolutely one boy who i would drop the world for. any day. any time. always.

• 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

Pretty sure my family threw away my check. no big deal. not like i need to fill my car up anytime soon or anything.

• 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

well duh.

• 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

dating? well, i'm currently single..so no.

• 24. What are you sitting on right now?

dark red room, with a view of the wind. woo.

• 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Every once in awhile. but yes.

• 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

have you been reading my journal? always have, always will. i miss him.

• 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

my favorite boy, Jeffrey Herbert (:

• 28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yeah. I get sick more than a normal person should. That's where the medication kicks in.

• 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Tilly's. My fav store ever. don't shop there. it's my place, not yours.

• 30. Does anyone hate you?

yeah probably. i don't care enough to find out though.

• 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

well i am an avid drinker so... hahahaha no. never.

• 32. Do you like watching scary movies?

every once in awhile. not alone. NEVER alone.

• 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

I don't even have my ears pierced. You think i want to skip right to the tongue? heavens no.

• 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

any high school year. it's a joke.

• 35. Did you have a dream last night?

probably. don't remember it though. never do.

• 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

today! leaving my grandparents home. and of course i meant it fully.

• 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

I say no now, but chances are yes. bittersweet.

• 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

only if they don't like me. none of attraction currently.

• 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

if they are, let's all hope it's something good.

• 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

for the most part, it went well. doen't happen to often.

• 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

funny story. yes. but no. I wouldn't admit it, then we split because i wasn't ready for the commitment he wanted.

• 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

gonna go see my bff britt tomorrow. so yeah

• 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yup. but guess who isn't around these days? thanks pal. love you too.

• 44. What’s the best part about school? 

meeting new people. and figuring out what i want to do with my life.

• 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

wayyy to many. people get annoyed with it. but they are good pictures. good memories.

• 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Brady blackley writes me a little note every once in awhile. thats it. and i love it.

• 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

all day. every day. i need a new hobby.

• 48. Were you single over the last summer?

i like to think of it as independent

• 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

no. and it breaks my heart. if i could go back two years, my life would be perfect. it sucks now. i miss 9th grade and my friends. i miss loving everything.

• 50. Who is the prettiest girl you know?

for an 11 year old, my little sister is gorgeous. i'm jealous of that little girl.

• 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

there is no way i could hate him. Marcus is my favorite husband ;)

• 52. Are you nice to everyone?

nah. and i'm pretty sure that's why people don't like me. oh well, i'd rather be honest and hated than tell and a lie and loved.

• 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yup. one of the funnest few months. and most stressful. i miss him.

• 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

been there, done that, could do it again. i believe in being faithful? maybe some people should try it.

• 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

the best. no one knows that i'm an emotional wreck most of the time. i'm a pretty good actress.

• 56. Do you think you like someone?

always have and always will.. now if only he'd get over himself and we could fix things.

• 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

hahaha yeah. that caused some problems.

• 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

boys. best friends are ALWAYS boys. girls suck.

• 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

one or two of them. and only on rare occasions. you know it's bad if i'm crying in front of you.

• 60. Do you hate anyone?

i couldn't hate anyone. even after everything you put me through, i still have a soft spot for most people. or i can just tolerate them.

• 61. How’s your heart?

broken. empty.

• 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

February 23, 2012

• 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

too much. let me just cry..AGAIN.

• 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

My old best friends. They come up with new reasons to hate me all the time. I learn new things about myself from them all the time.

• 65. Are your toenails painted pink?

teal!

• 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

never again.

• 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

most of the time.

• 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

only at soccer. good think i have sick tiger spandex.

• 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my mama. I was running late to school.. that was a fun conversation.

• 70. How do you look right now?

school is out. i look unacceptable for the public.

• 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

my best friends-my sisters

• 72. Can you commit to one person?

one hundred percent.

• 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

well, uh. not anymore.

• 74. Have you ever felt replaced?

ahem, story of my entire life.

• 75. Did you wake up cranky?

yup. i woke up late. how's that for waking up on the right side of the bed?

• 76. Are you a jealous person?

yeah. but that way you know i care about you.

• 77. Are you obsessed with anything?

hunter hayes, chick flicks, twitter. no biggee.

• 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? 

all my old best friends. it just isn't in the cards for us to be together anymore.

• 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

him.

• 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

 actually go to school. yay. pysch.

• 81. Last person you cried in front of?

probably bff britt.

• 82. Is there someone you will never forget?

 sadly, yes. even though i wish i could.

• 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

definitely not. i just love those blank stares he gives me in the halls and at home.

• 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

fighting. and probably laughing. maybe throwing frosting at each other. or watching a movie.going on a daily drive.

• 85. Are you over your past?

i live in my past.

• 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

i liked my best friend for 9 years. he was a cute guy.

• 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

no. not anymore.

• 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

in a heartbeat.

• 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

yeah. we were to close. he would do the same for me

• 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yeah. broke up with him because of that. good decision.

• 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

well a summer fling would be fun..

• 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

not personally i do believe.

• 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

definitely not.

• 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

i was in a relationship with my bed. super sick = super fun

• 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

not entirely. we fought to much.

• 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

well, i do think my dear friend marcus is a good lookin guy.

• 97. Who do you have texts from?

mom, dad, marcus, em, jackson, etc.

• 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

well good luck with that.

• 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

multiple times.

• 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

me, myself, and i.

• 101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

not yet.

• 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

mmhmm. used to all the time.