Missionary Poem

A friend of mine shared this today in seminary. You can find the original here!

The alarm rings at 6:30; I stumble to my feet

I grab my companion's bedding and pull off his sheet.

A groan fills the room; is it already time to rise?

It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.

The morning activities follow...study, prayer, and such.

When it's time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven't accomplished much.

"We have a super day planned," my comp. says with a grin.

I lowly utter a faithless breath, "Yea, if anyone lets us in."

With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street

Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat.

It's 9:30 in the evening, the day almost through;

My companion and I are riding home, not accomplishing what we thought to do.

We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot.

Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate, "air box"..

We go up into our apartment, the day is now complete,

The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistered feet.

It's past 10:30pm, my companion's fast asleep

Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep.

In the midst of all the sadness I kneel down to pray;

I need to talk to Father, but I'm not sure what to say.

"Oh Father," I begin, "What happened to us today?

I thought we'd teach somebody, but everyone was away.

My hands, my aching hands--worn, hurt and beat;

If only our area was any smaller, we'd knock down every street."

"Why on missions are the days so much alike?

The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike.

Will you send me some cooler weather? The heat is killing me.

I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes, it's very hard to see."

"Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn't your protection enough?

People always laugh at me and call me stupid stuff.

Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack;

I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back."

"And what about my family? They don't have much to say,

I'm sick of not hearing from home, day after day after day.

Oh Father, why am I here, am I just wasting time?

Sometimes I just want to go home, I'm sorry but that's on my mind."

"My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?

The way he rides his bike, I don't think he can see

Now you have it, I can't go on, I don't know what to do;

That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for you."

My prayer now finished I stand up, then jump into bed.

I need my rest for tomorrow; we have another long day ahead.

Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away,

Then it seems a vision takes me to another time and another day.

I'm standing alone on the hill, the view is very nice;

A man walks toward me and says, "My name is Jesus Christ."

Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to his feet,

"Arise," he states, "Follow me to the shade--you and I need to speak."

My attention's toward the Savior, total and complete. He says,

"Your mission is similar of what happened to me

I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through;

In fact, it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you."

"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you.

At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do.

I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet;

"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate;

I remember when I sweat blood from every pore, oh the agony was great!

I see you don't like your companion--you'd rather have someone else--

I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth."

"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you.

I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews.

So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack.

I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back."

"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day.

I guess when they pounded nails in mine, they ached in a similar way.

It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see;

I lost communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?"

We have a lot in common, but there's a difference between us you see,

I endured to the end and finished my mission, so follow and do like me."

He embraced me with his arms, His light filled me with His love,

With tears in my eyes, I watched as He went back to the Father above.

I stood in awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head,

I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed.

My companion let out a groan, "6:30 already, no way!"

I sat up and said, "Come on, I'll even carry your scriptures today!"

No matter what we go through, when we feel we can't take more,

Just stop to think about Jesus Christ, He's been there before.

On My Own

Okay, so if you didn't love Les Miserables, then you're stupid and I probably don't like you. Everyone can relate to something in that song. My song? On My Own. Eponine is singing about Marius. One of the parts that made me cry my eyes out during the movie.

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone

I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I lose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And although I know that he is blind

Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone

The river's just a river

Without him

The world around me changes

The trees are bare and everywhere

The streets are full of strangers

I love him

But every day I'm learning

All my life

I've only been pretending

Without me

His world will go on turning

A world that's full of happiness

That I have never known

I love him

I love him

I love him

But only on my own

Wait..You Don't Have Friends Either??

I promise. This isn't a post about not having friends. This is me, telling about my soccer team and how close we've all become. Right now, I'm playing for the Ogden Outlaws. My coach is Mike Hickman Jr. Playing on this team has been a whirlwind from day one. I came to this team when I was in 8th grade. They were still Rampage when I came. Most of the girls had already been playing together since they were about 8. So you can imagine how alone and awkward I felt showing up to that first indoor practice. No one talked to me. I had to be partnered with people instead of choosing a group. It took only a few weeks to really connect with those girls. To be honest, I didn't like a lot of them. They thought they were all that, but so did I. We clashed. I later became a captain on this team. I stayed captain for about three and a half years. In between those years, we switched over to the Ogden Outlaws, where my coach had played as a semi-pro. We loved it! It was so much better than the Rampage Club.
So..to talk about the present day. Our team has been going through a lot lately. Between girls quitting, a lot of us getting really sick (Me with strep/mono/who knows what it was, Britt with pneumonia, Searle with whatever she has), then with injuries (Me-hips-out for two months Sage-broken elbow-out for 6-8 weeks Katie-hips/hamstrings-lets be real. she is out every three months for something new.) We have had a hard time getting together and actually connecting again. We've had girls come and go, and as of right now we have about 4-5 of us from the original Rampage team. Everyone else is new. It was hard to get to know everyone and finally trust them, but we did it.
Tonight it hit me. We have a year left with this team before we all go our separate ways. Some of us to go play college ball, some to just study in school, and others will be starting a family. It's just crazy how old we all are! As a team, we've all connected finally. Some of these girls have turned into my best friends. We are all at different schools. Katie and I at Syracuse. Britt at Roy. Allie, Sage, and Kates at Weber, and so on and so forth. It's hard to get together when we all live so far away.
Tonight while we were at practice, we worked hard. We kicked butt while we conditioned and busted out to some serious tunes. Then we played a 3v3v3 scrimmage. Yet again, we totally killed it. My coach has been so happy with us for the last couple weeks. If you know him, that rarely ever happens. Nearing the end, we all decided to play more games instead of shooting. We were waiting for Mike to set up the drill when we all started juggling. While we were juggling, the topic of school and friends was brought up.Everyone at once, it seemed, chimed in about how they don't really have friends at their school. Thinking we were the only ones, this surprised us all. Truth be told, that is how it is for all of us. I hang out with Katie at school, Brittany on the weekends. At most, all of us only have about 3 really good friends besides the team. I think that made us all realize that we are so much alike, that it's easy to see how we all can be best friends at soccer, and not worry about having other friends outside of the team.
We kept juggling for about 10 more minutes. Mike joined in. The drill was set up, but we avoided it and just kept messing around. This doesn't happen all that much. We all tried to one up each other with tricks and moves, hit each other (Britt and Mike..) and just chatted. With five minutes left of practice, Mike asked if we wanted to play any games anymore. In unison, we all shouted, "NO!". So we carried on with our little game and bonding time.
All those girls on my team mean so much to me. I see them as friends, but also as family. I know if I need anything, they are just a phone call away. I guess that's what you get when you spend so much time with a group of crazy girls, and a coach who is a little crazier than us.
I love my Outlaws

It's Finally Over

2011... I can't say I'm sad to see you go. You definitely gave me a run for my money. Half the time, I wasn't sure how I was going to pull through. Anything and everything that could go wrong...did. Friends? Definitely lost quite a few. Stuff happened. People changed. We all did. You can't change that. I miss my best friend. I will always love him, but right now we aren't supposed to be together. So I'll wait. When he is ready to talk, he knows I'm here. To sit, to listen, to talk, and to just be us again. I love him and miss him. It's been weird not having him around so much. I can't get used to it. We will be ok in the future. I know we will. Time will only tell, I guess. Soccer? Craziest year we have EVER had. Between my hips finally giving out on me, me switching teams back and forth a few times, and a near winless high school season, I had a lot of chances of growth and opportunity. Family? We are stronger than ever. It's just us 5 here. My parents, Carson, Gracie, and me. We are our own support system and we have needed each other the last little while. My aunt and uncle have separated. My cousins and I have become a lot closer since then, even if they do live across the country.
All in all? I'm just walking away from 2011, thankful for the experiences and thankful that it made my family closer than ever. That year could have been a lot worse, but it also could have been a heck of a lot better.
2012, please be good to me. I have high expectations. Hopefully our house will sell and we can move somewhere we like to call "home" still. If not, fingers crossed my parents let me transfer schools. I would do anything to get out of Syracuse. I'm not running away, I'm just looking for something new and better. This being the year that I become a senior, that I turn 18, is a big year for me. I am growing up and realizing that there is so much more to life than popularity and high school.
Have a good year. Everyone out there. I am sending love and hope that you can make this year all that you want it to be. Good luck. Don't forget, even when you feel like you are at the end of the road, things will get better. Everyone has a "happily ever after" planned. If things aren't ok, they aren't done yet. You'll be okay. I know it.  

A Good Pair Of Jeans And A T-Shirt

I love the nights where that is all you need. Throw on your favorite pair of jeans, a big t-shirt, and you are set. Not doing your hair, don't worry about make up, just get dressed and go. That is how it should be. Hassle-free.
I had such a fun night tonight with some friends that I don't hang out with to much anymore. It was great! Random conversations in the basement, boys in funny soldier outfits, quick runs to 7-11, Zoolander, and catching up on old times and fun memories. I am grateful for the friendships that I have made. I'm also grateful for the friendships I've lost. While sometimes it seems like they were needed at the time, I realized they don't matter. If they were supposed to be in my life, I would have been with them on a night like tonight. The people I was with tonight are amazing. I look up to each and every one of them. They are such examples to not only me, but people they meet everyday. Things have been rocky, but I think they are starting to look up.
One person I have to say I am so so grateful for, is my friend Trevor Dickson. We went through a rough patch where we weren't super close, and didn't talk a ton. But this last month has changed. We talk almost every day. We see each other at least once a week, it feels like. I can tell him anything. I know he is always there for me, and I am so thankful for him. And I'm grateful that Emily introduced us about a year (give or take a few months) ago. I don't know what I would do without some of these people in my life.

100th Post

Well.. Pretty self-explanatory. I have been blogging for a little over a year now, about random adventures that I have taken, things that have stuck out to me, and things that tell who I am. So seeing as it is November, the month of thanking and giving, I'll do a post of what I'm thankful and grateful for.

*I'm grateful for my family. That laughs, the fights, the weird conversations. Carson, Gracie, my mom and dad, and even our three little dogs.

I'm grateful for soccer. Even though it has taken me on a roller coaster for 11 years, but it has defined me and helped me find out who I am and what I love.*

*I'm grateful for my talent in running. Without it, I would just be ordinary.

*I am so thankful we have music. Sometimes, you just need some Taylor Swift to cry to, or some Eminem to yell to. 

My friends. Things have been rough, but I'm grateful for the good times, the trials, and all of the memories we have made.*

*My house. My clothes. My I-Pod. Shoes. Purses. Make-up. Cleats. Pictures. My tooth brush. My car. Posters. Quote blocks. My phone.

*I am so grateful for the gospel. Without it in my life, I would be lost. It has helped me so much these last few weeks and I am thankful for our prophets who have helped us.*

*The Book Of Mormom. I am so so so grateful for it. I am almost finished with it, and I have learned so much from it. Its crazy how a book can affect someones life so much.*

*The Temple. Its my castle, and I am going to go there one day.

I am so thankful for the men and the women that serve our country and keep us safe and free.*

*Here is a shocker : I am grateful for school. Without it, we would be so worse off. It is going to be worth it after we get those diplomas.

I'm grateful for those days where I can come home and sit in sweats, with my hair pulled back, and make up off and just relax.*

*I am thankful for the days that I realize I have a life and I'm doing something productive to help someone or do something.

I know there is a lot I missed. There is so much to be thankful for, and this is the time of the season to thank those that have helped you. 

Thank you to my friends. You've made me stronger. You have given me laughs and memories I will remember forever. Thank you to my family for not giving up on me when I've been at my lowest. Thank you Marilyn Monroe for not being a size two and making everyone else feel more comfortable about their bodies. Thank you to The Redeemer for giving his life so we could be here and have these amazing opportunities. 

The Room Of The Writer

I am in the process of changing my room. I'm no longer the UNC, soccer, sticker fan I once was. I'm turning into a girl finally. I want my room clean, and red, black, and white are my favorite colors. This process...is taking a lot longer than expected. But I'm finally getting somewhere with it.

Here is the basis of my room.

I'm in love with Marilyn Monroe. She is my hero.

My cork board has all the pictures of people that are important to me.

My three pairs of cleats.

School supplies.

Race numbers.

More pictures.

It's all that I'm about.

I have a small room, so this is the other half.

My computer - Wallpaper of Kenny Wormald

Poster of Hollywood in the 50's

My church blocks, dance pictures, and birthday girls my aunt sends.

Last, but not least,

My Bountiful Temple block and my scriptures. They stay next to my bed every day.

I know it may not look like much, but this room is me.
Its all that I love, and its what I care about.

I'm going to be sad when I have to leave it in a few years.

Seminary And Such

I'm so grateful for the kids in my seminary class. They have helped me through a lot, and I'm becoming great friends with a lot of them.

I don't like girls to much. Boys are much better to hang out with. 

Jeff-Kole-Landon-Karson.

I love these boys

Karson is pretty much my favorite in that class. 

And Jeff likes to creep on us?

Cute Alex (Leah) and I (Rachel)

To bad no one in the bible likes Leah..

And Kars has learned from Jeff to creep..

Been friends since I was a freshman. I love her. 

Becka and I

Porcupine-Zebulun-Jeff

Owl-Asher-Courtney

We tend to get into trouble a lot...but we have a good time, 90 percent of the time

Spencer! My senior friend from Math and Seminary

He likes to go and get me hot chocolate during class,

and he likes to talk to me, even when we are supposed to be quiet.

He doesn't take pictures, so I should feel honored (-Says Spencer)

Devin! He is a stud, and I'm so glad we are friends, and in the same class
Click the Read More Button <---

I've Found My Future Husband

Yes..I'm only 16. (Turning 17 this weekend) But I do believe I have found my future husband.

His name?

Kenny Wormald

Otherwise known as 'Ren' from the remake, Footloose.

I saw this movie and flipped a lid.

I think I am in love

College Survival Kit

This season has been real, it's been fun.

We played in the heat, and we played in the sun.

Here are some things to help get you through,

we know it will be hard, but we hope this will do.

There is some food for the road, some things for class.

REMEMBER: Always check for swoob and swass!

Good luck with your grades, good luck with your sports.

Don't forget our favorite Coach Schwartz!

If you ever have a problem, and need someone to call,

We'll be here to talk or just kick a ball.

Titans for life, never forget it.

Our season have been fun, we won't ever regret it.

I hope you don't cry, and this doesn't cause a fuss, 

But let's get out there, and just. . .

DO US!!!!

This is the poem Jaydin and I wrote for the seniors of the team this year. We made them little college survival kits with things to remember us by, and to help them out when they graduate. 

Love our Seniors

Thank You

That is all there is to say.
For years, we've grown up with the same young women leaders.
Today, they were released from their callings.
I don't think I have ever seen so many girls and leaders crying that much.

Change is so hard.
Especially with this. We have two leaders who we have really grown with.
Lindsay and Lisa. They were with us through everything.
From starting Jr. High and High school, to boys and family problems.
Saying goodbye to them was so hard.

We love our leaders. We look up to them so much.
We are more of a family and friends, not just a group.
They treat us like individuals and care for us in their own way.
I don't know what I would have done without some of these women.

The new leaders will be great.
I'm excited to see what they will do.
But still..
Why does goodbye have to be so hard?
I'm not ready for change.
I love my leaders, my friends, the women I call my 'other mothers'.
Today was hard, but I know there is a reason they had to be released.

We love you, Heritage Ward Young Womens

A Daughter of the Almighty

For you my dear friends, the sky is the limit. 

You can be excellent in every way.

 Respect yourself. 

Do not feel sorry for yourself. 

Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you.

 Particularly, pay no attention to what some boy might say to demean you.

 He is no better than you. 

In fact, he has already belittled himself by his actions.

The Lord did not send you here to fail.

 He did not give you life to waste it.

 He bestowed upon you the gift of mortality, that you might gain experience, positive, wonderful, purposeful experience that will lead to life eternal.

*President Gordon B. Hinckley, Words of a Prophet:
Daughters of the Almighty, New Era, Nov. 2003

10 {ten} Truths Tuesday

Its catching on! Many of you have started it. I know it seems silly, but sometimes, it comes in handy.

So...What are my new "Ten Truths"?

/\ Truth 1 Brady Blackley is my new best friend. He is a fabulous listener!

/\ Truth 2 I'm over my secret love. I'll always crush on him, but I'm happy with things right now.

/\ Truth 3 I'm in love with Taylor Swift music right now. She knows exactly how I'm feeling.

/\ Truth 4 Boys are dumb. Really. Friends is safer and smarter.

/\ Truth 5 I bore my testimony for the first time in months in Young Women's Sunday...Terrifying, but so needed.

/\ Truth 6 I have not sworn in two weeks. I'm proud of myself.

/\ Truth 7 Sometimes, it's ok to yell at your best friends. It fixes a lot, and gets the problems over with and done.

/\ Truth 8 At 11:11, almost every night. I make a wish. About life, soccer, boys, everything.

/\ Truth 9 I think mosquito's like me...just a bit to much.

/\ Truth 10 I love my siblings. Even though we fight and disagree a lot (A LOT) we are still best friends. Love you, Carson and Gracie!

Take a second and do your 10 truths. It's the new thing!

Fake It 'Til You Make It

I have an example in my life. Brianna Brough! She is seriously one of my best friends and she is such an example to me. I look up to her and turn to her for anything. After all of these lovely friend dilemma's I've been having, I needed someone to talk to. She has been through anything you can imagine. Her biggest peace of advice? "Fake it 'til you make it"

So you know what? I'm not going to let them get the best of me. They can't tear me down. With all that people throw at me, I know I can take it. In my patriachal blessing, it says that when the time comes, I will be standing with my armor ready to fight. I have a feeling it's time. I have to keep my true friends close, and I can't forget who I am. If I don't change who I am, I will come out on top. You think you can change me? You think you can hit me over and over again and I'll be ok with that? 1. You can't change who I am. And 2. You don't have any right to judge me, when you've done similar things. I have tried to work it out with you and make the best of our summer and our high school career. You obviously don't care.

NEITHER DO I.

Marilyn Monroe has said, "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."   

It's my life, I'll live it how I want. I am strong. I am independent. I am capable of making my life the best it can be, and you can't change it.

Next time you see me, even when I'm not feeling the best, I will fake it and show you that you haven't affected me at all. I have my true friends. The people that wouldn't leave my side. And they treat me like an individual. We have our differences, but they accept me. So you can go on and change who you are. That's your own personal choice and it'll hopefully be the best for you. I will fake it, until I make it out of high school, and out of these silly little games we keep playing.

Good luck to you out there. The struggle and heartache isn't worth my time.

10 Truths Tuesday

Rules: 

You must have 10 truths

You must be with out a doubt, undeniably, one hundred percent, truthful.

You can not be worried about what others will say.

Its time for another 10 Truths Tuesday from Courtney!

I know I already posted today,  but its been awhile since I've done this.

My Ten Truths:

I'm secretly in love with a boy...but I can't tell my friends.

I have never appreciated my soccer team more than I do now.

I still feel like I'm not good enough sometimes.

I worry about who watches me. Am I being a good example? The best I can be?

Sophmore year was the worst year of my life. I would never replay it.

I miss my friends so much, it hurts. I wish things had never changed between some of us.

I am all about having a new attitude right now. No judgement to anyone.

I'm jealous of all the relationships I'm seeing right now. I want that.

I don't understand why we have drama. Its petty and pointless.

I'm in the mood for a perfect day. No drama, just friends. Sleep. Happiness.

That's My Girl

I wish that I could see myself, for who I am.
Forget everyone else
If I could only catch a peak,
of whats inside I'd never hide
You see,
Way up in the sky, my father divine,
Ruler overseas is watching me.
He sees my every kindness,
Looks through my blindness,
Knows all my weaknesses,
And yet He still says

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.
She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.
She is mine, my daughter divine.
She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

Once in awhile, I can't help but smile
Knowing the Lord has love in store
I'm beginning to see all that he's done for me
It makes my day to hear him say

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.

She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.

She is mine, my daughter divine.

She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

I am born divine, if only I could see that

I can truly shine. It's inside of me!

Sometimes his love, that comes from above,

I may not deserve when I do not serve.

Or when I'm not strong and say something wrong

I can't find my way, that's when I hear him say

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.

She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.

She is mine, my daughter divine.

She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

That's My Girl

Kristin Thomas

She wrote this song for Laurels camp. Take a second and think about it.

Best Friend

You all know him.

You know he is my best friend.

I dedicate this post to just him.

This kid has changed me for the better.

Without him, I wouldn't have such a strong testimony,

I wouldn't have a greater appreciation for things,

and I wouldn't have my best friend.

We went on a walk this evening.

We talked about life. 

School.

People.

Soccer.

Future.

This is the only kid that I'm afraid to lose.

He is going to do great things in his life, and I want to be a part of them.

I don't know where I would be without him.

He has taught me so much,

inspired me,

made me laugh,

made me love,

put me through so much drama,

and still stayed true to me through everything.

Never change, Joshua.

I love you, and you are the greatest person in my life.

Regret

Did I make the wrong choice?

Should I have stayed?

I miss them so much. . .

I think I made a bad decision... Remember how I said I switched soccer teams? I am currently on the Strikers, and I left the Ogden Outlaws? Well...I think that was a bad choice. I miss my girls SO much. I need my family back. We were so in sync with each other. Even through all of the drama and issues, we pulled through and fought for each other. I miss Mike, he was the best coach I had ever had. He taught me so much. Four years with a team makes you tight...and I think I'm regretting leaving.

Would he take me back? Would the girls WANT me back? I think he'd take me back on if I admitted he was right. He told me it would be a bad decision to switch...I could always stay on Strikers, and try out for Outlaws next season. But that's a year. And that would put me a year behind my girls. Funny..I still call them my girls, even though I'm not on the team. 

Strikers are great, don't get me wrong. They just aren't my skill level. The girls have gotten so much nicer, we talk, and we can at least laugh together now. But I still don't feel comfortable. I want to be the leader on a team. I can do that on both. I want to lead girls that are willing to work. If you aren't going to bring 110% to the game, don't step on the field. That's my new motto. I don't feel like Strikers do that. Same with Outlaws. But on Outlaws, we had heart and didn't give up at the last second.

What do I do now? Stay on Strikers, just content? Where things are different, but its a learning experience? Or move to Outlaws again, where it feels like home? I'm so lost right now...Send me a sign? A letter? A signal? Anything to help me decide what to do...I need to decide. Q.U.I.C.K

The Pick-Me-Up

Have you ever gotten a sweet surprise? Something to just make you smile? Maybe even cry because it's exactly what you needed, at the exact right time? In my last post, I told you guys about how I had been having a hard time. Low self-esteem problems, and just stress beyond belief. 

I walked out of school today, having an ok day, and went straight to my car like I normally do. I got in, didn't notice anything...and what do I see when I sit in the drivers seat?

This cute poster someone had made for me. I was so confused! I took it out and read all of the comments...

Reasons Why Courtney Hamilton Is AMAZING!:

She is SUPER cute

Fun to be around

Smart

Easy to love

BEAUTIFUL

Full of engery

Etc...

I don't know who did it. But I am so grateful. I got home to finish reading it (because reading a huge poster while driving? Not a good idea). I started to cry, yet again. To know that someone would do that for me changes my look at a lot of things. This was honestly one of the greatest things anyone could have done for me. 

I don't know if the person (or people) who did this will read this post, or ever know how grateful I am for them...But thank you. You picked me up, when I was really at a low point. You made my whole day turn around, and it means more to me than you'll ever know. 

It's been a rough day

"There are those women of misfortune laden with despair, sorrow, lack of love at home, or the guilt and consequences from having trodden in forbidden paths. Away from the community of the Saints, where succor can be provided, they await being befriended by one in whom they can confidently place their injured trust and who can restore their self-esteem and tenderly accompany them back to truth and light.
There are many sweet, faithful daughters of our Heavenly Father who bless our lives. May we better understand them  and be as sensitive to their needs as was the Savior when He instinctively sensed the touching of the hem of His garment and the faith of a long-diseased woman behind Him. As Jesus said to her, so may our actions affirm to our noble sisters: "Daughter, be of good comfort" (Matt. 9:22)"

I won't go into detail, it's to personal. But tonight, I went over to my best friend (Joshua Parker Brough)'s house. I don't know what caused me to start, but I randomly started crying when he asked if I was okay. There is a lot of stuff that has gone on that I've been struggling with. I don't know why I felt pressed to tell him all of it. I bawled my eyes out for a little over an hour. Josh just sat and listened, and listened some more. After I had caught him up on stuff and had finally stopped crying...he said he wouldn't be the person he is today if it weren't for me. Of course, I started crying again. This kid has helped me through so much, and I wanted to thank him. When I got home, he sent me the quote listed above(^). That made me cry...yet again.

Thank you to my best friend in the whole world. I don't think he realizes it, but he is the greatest example I have. I doubt you'll read this Broughykins, but I just wanted to tell you I love you. Thank you for listening to me complain and whine for an hour. It meant a lot, and I don't think I can ever say thank you enough. You're the best, and I'm so thankful and lucky to have a friend like you.