How many times can I start a post and not publish it? I mean really. If you were to look at my drafts, you'd see how indecisive I am.
I just don't know what to say anymore. School is school. I avoid it at all costs. Friends are friends. They come and they go in waves. Work is work. And NOBODY likes work. It's just life.
Sometimes I just sit and think. And if you're a teenage girl, you know what that means. Coming up with any crazy situation possible and just letting your mind run wild. Last night was one of those nights. Thank goodness for a bff who listens to me complain and cry.
I'm so ready to grow up. This place is not for me. It has never been for me. I take every opportunity I can to get out of this little town. Seeing the same faces in the same places becomes a pain now. I want new and exciting. This is why graduation needs to come, NOW. 99 days. But again... who's counting? Not this girl...
April. The glorious month. I can start my papers then, and I couldn't be anymore excited. I am probably the last person you would expect to be going on a mission. But it's where I need to be. I've never been so sure about something. When I think about my plans to go and serve, I know it's the right decision. I think that's why I had such a hard time deciding on a school and a major for college. Nothing seemed to fit. But this? A mission? I know it's what I need to be doing for the next while.
To whom this may concern:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed in your life, even if you were what I needed. I hope and pray we work things out. No one else comes close to meaning as much as you do. I still love you. Probably always will. And the part that kills me? You don't even notice anymore. It seems like you're doing great. If you needed anything, I'd be there for you. I just wish you knew that.
99 days. 99 days and I am done with high school, stupid people, held-up feelings, and everything in between. I'm so ready.
Love you Court.
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