December 4, 2011

About July...I started reading the Book of Mormon. I decided I was going to finish is all the way through. And today, I finished it. It is such a big accomplishment for me. My testimony has grown so much from this book, and my faith has definitely soared. I love my gospel and the church I belong to.

Pinterest Made Me Do It

On Friday night, my friend Alex and I decided to get creative. Thanks to the website, Pinterest, we came up with the idea to do crayon art. 

Here is my rainbow creation I made. Just a pack of 96 crayons, but I only used 88.

Here are our boards with the crayons hot glued onto the foam board we used. We got vinyl silhouettes from a friend. Mine is the top, Alex's is the bottom.

We had to melt the crayons for about an hour on high heat. The color will run down your board as far as you want it to go. Make sure to put newspaper behind and below the board. It will splatter a bit.

Here is my finished project. 

Definitely a cheap, fun way to spend your day off of school 

Big Sister

I finally got a letter from my 'big sister' Brianna.
In July, she left for the Knoxville, Tennessee Mission for The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Later-Day Saints.
She is about 5 years older than me, but she has always been one of my best friends. When I was little, she adopted me as another sister. I have always looked up to her for being so strong, and being herself. She has been there for me through anything. I don't have any older siblings, so she was truly my sister.
Coming home today for lunch, I saw a letter on the table addressed to me. I freaked out. It was from her! I opened it and was so excited. In the letter, she wrote about how she was thinking about me, and how I needed some help with things. Its crazy, because I was in the process of writing her a letter already.
She is such an example to me. She has gone through a lot in her life, yet she always made it through. I'm grateful for the decision she made to go on a mission. It gives me more drive to better myself in the gospel, and want to share it.
I miss my 'big sister' and I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father sent me her way. I needed her in my life, and she will always be one of my best friends.
I'm so proud of her, and can't wait to see her in about a year!

A Good Pair Of Jeans And A T-Shirt

I love the nights where that is all you need. Throw on your favorite pair of jeans, a big t-shirt, and you are set. Not doing your hair, don't worry about make up, just get dressed and go. That is how it should be. Hassle-free.
I had such a fun night tonight with some friends that I don't hang out with to much anymore. It was great! Random conversations in the basement, boys in funny soldier outfits, quick runs to 7-11, Zoolander, and catching up on old times and fun memories. I am grateful for the friendships that I have made. I'm also grateful for the friendships I've lost. While sometimes it seems like they were needed at the time, I realized they don't matter. If they were supposed to be in my life, I would have been with them on a night like tonight. The people I was with tonight are amazing. I look up to each and every one of them. They are such examples to not only me, but people they meet everyday. Things have been rocky, but I think they are starting to look up.
One person I have to say I am so so grateful for, is my friend Trevor Dickson. We went through a rough patch where we weren't super close, and didn't talk a ton. But this last month has changed. We talk almost every day. We see each other at least once a week, it feels like. I can tell him anything. I know he is always there for me, and I am so thankful for him. And I'm grateful that Emily introduced us about a year (give or take a few months) ago. I don't know what I would do without some of these people in my life.

Everybody Has Been There

Every single person has had that time in their life..

where things don't go right.

people say nasty things.

you lose friends.

you don't feel pretty enough.

you don't fit in with the crowd.

bad hair days.

clothes don't fit.

you just want to cry.

Let me tell you something...Even though it seems hard now..It WILL get better.

You are strong. 

You are independent. 

People can't dictate your life.

Believe in yourself.

Because I believe in you.

Even though its not much, its still something to start with.

Everything has a happy ending. If things aren't ok, then you know its not the end.

Have faith. 

Don't let them rule over you.

You are going to be ok.

To The Gym!

Today... I have to express my gratitude... to the gym.
Funny, right?
Well, not so much.

Its been nearly two months since I have been allowed to run, play soccer, or really exert any kind of energy.
Well, as long as my physical therapist doesn't know, I went to the gym today for the very first time in the {almost} two months I was away.
And it was fabulous.

Ever have that day, where you realize everything is different?
You probably won't talk to him again, hang out with that group of friends, or even have someone to call?
Yeah. I had one of those days today.

So what do I do? Go and work out until I can't run anymore.

Now, it wasn't a lot of mileage or calorie burning. But it was more than I've done in a long time. And cut me some slack.. I'm realllly out of shape.

I just keep telling myself it's going to be okay...

I Just Need To

Its Tuesday?

10 Truths on Tuesday

1. I hate being sick. It sucks. 

2. My new Iphone is lovely. Thank you mom and dad.

3.If I could fix anything right now..it'd be my relationship with Joshua. I miss him a lot. 

4. People change. You can't help it. Friends are no longer friends anymore, and it sucks.

5. Nyquill make me happy when I feel under the weather.

6. Late night hot chocolate runs and a friend singing show tunes can change your whole mood.

7. I miss running. Two more weeks until I *may* be able to start again.

8. Friends come from places and experiences you would have NEVER thought.

9. Spandex = comfiest things to sleep in. EVER.

10. I think I have decided what I want to do when I grow up. Be a therapist/counselor/social worker. Any of those. Helpful tips are greatly appreciated. 

100th Post

Well.. Pretty self-explanatory. I have been blogging for a little over a year now, about random adventures that I have taken, things that have stuck out to me, and things that tell who I am. So seeing as it is November, the month of thanking and giving, I'll do a post of what I'm thankful and grateful for.

*I'm grateful for my family. That laughs, the fights, the weird conversations. Carson, Gracie, my mom and dad, and even our three little dogs.

I'm grateful for soccer. Even though it has taken me on a roller coaster for 11 years, but it has defined me and helped me find out who I am and what I love.*

*I'm grateful for my talent in running. Without it, I would just be ordinary.

*I am so thankful we have music. Sometimes, you just need some Taylor Swift to cry to, or some Eminem to yell to. 

My friends. Things have been rough, but I'm grateful for the good times, the trials, and all of the memories we have made.*

*My house. My clothes. My I-Pod. Shoes. Purses. Make-up. Cleats. Pictures. My tooth brush. My car. Posters. Quote blocks. My phone.

*I am so grateful for the gospel. Without it in my life, I would be lost. It has helped me so much these last few weeks and I am thankful for our prophets who have helped us.*

*The Book Of Mormom. I am so so so grateful for it. I am almost finished with it, and I have learned so much from it. Its crazy how a book can affect someones life so much.*

*The Temple. Its my castle, and I am going to go there one day.

I am so thankful for the men and the women that serve our country and keep us safe and free.*

*Here is a shocker : I am grateful for school. Without it, we would be so worse off. It is going to be worth it after we get those diplomas.

I'm grateful for those days where I can come home and sit in sweats, with my hair pulled back, and make up off and just relax.*

*I am thankful for the days that I realize I have a life and I'm doing something productive to help someone or do something.

I know there is a lot I missed. There is so much to be thankful for, and this is the time of the season to thank those that have helped you. 

Thank you to my friends. You've made me stronger. You have given me laughs and memories I will remember forever. Thank you to my family for not giving up on me when I've been at my lowest. Thank you Marilyn Monroe for not being a size two and making everyone else feel more comfortable about their bodies. Thank you to The Redeemer for giving his life so we could be here and have these amazing opportunities. 

Just A Quote

"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."

The Room Of The Writer

I am in the process of changing my room. I'm no longer the UNC, soccer, sticker fan I once was. I'm turning into a girl finally. I want my room clean, and red, black, and white are my favorite colors. This process...is taking a lot longer than expected. But I'm finally getting somewhere with it.

Here is the basis of my room.

I'm in love with Marilyn Monroe. She is my hero.

My cork board has all the pictures of people that are important to me.

My three pairs of cleats.

School supplies.

Race numbers.

More pictures.

It's all that I'm about.

I have a small room, so this is the other half.

My computer - Wallpaper of Kenny Wormald

Poster of Hollywood in the 50's

My church blocks, dance pictures, and birthday girls my aunt sends.

Last, but not least,

My Bountiful Temple block and my scriptures. They stay next to my bed every day.

I know it may not look like much, but this room is me.
Its all that I love, and its what I care about.

I'm going to be sad when I have to leave it in a few years.

Seminary And Such

I'm so grateful for the kids in my seminary class. They have helped me through a lot, and I'm becoming great friends with a lot of them.

I don't like girls to much. Boys are much better to hang out with. 

Jeff-Kole-Landon-Karson.

I love these boys

Karson is pretty much my favorite in that class. 

And Jeff likes to creep on us?

Cute Alex (Leah) and I (Rachel)

To bad no one in the bible likes Leah..

And Kars has learned from Jeff to creep..

Been friends since I was a freshman. I love her. 

Becka and I

Porcupine-Zebulun-Jeff

Owl-Asher-Courtney

We tend to get into trouble a lot...but we have a good time, 90 percent of the time

Spencer! My senior friend from Math and Seminary

He likes to go and get me hot chocolate during class,

and he likes to talk to me, even when we are supposed to be quiet.

He doesn't take pictures, so I should feel honored (-Says Spencer)

Devin! He is a stud, and I'm so glad we are friends, and in the same class
Click the Read More Button <---

Seventeen Is To Old

I feel old. And I don't know why. This birthday really hit me. Yesterday, at 5:55 A.M., I turned 17. I don't know how I feel about that. I woke up to have two different college pamphlets on my counter. Such a scary thought. I have to grow up now. I have to start acting like an adult. I have 364 more days until I am legally  supposed to take care of myself. I want to be a kid. I want to mess up. I want to be able to not care. I feel like all of a sudden, I have to.

I finally feel my age. And I don't know what to do. Fingers crossed 17 is better than 16 ever was. 

I've Found My Future Husband

Yes..I'm only 16. (Turning 17 this weekend) But I do believe I have found my future husband.

His name?

Kenny Wormald

Otherwise known as 'Ren' from the remake, Footloose.

I saw this movie and flipped a lid.

I think I am in love

College Survival Kit

This season has been real, it's been fun.

We played in the heat, and we played in the sun.

Here are some things to help get you through,

we know it will be hard, but we hope this will do.

There is some food for the road, some things for class.

REMEMBER: Always check for swoob and swass!

Good luck with your grades, good luck with your sports.

Don't forget our favorite Coach Schwartz!

If you ever have a problem, and need someone to call,

We'll be here to talk or just kick a ball.

Titans for life, never forget it.

Our season have been fun, we won't ever regret it.

I hope you don't cry, and this doesn't cause a fuss, 

But let's get out there, and just. . .

DO US!!!!

This is the poem Jaydin and I wrote for the seniors of the team this year. We made them little college survival kits with things to remember us by, and to help them out when they graduate. 

Love our Seniors

The Best Team That Couldn't Win

I play for Syracuse High Soccer.

This season was one of the most RIDICULOUS seasons I have ever played. That is including club ball.

Our record?

Preseason : 5-0

Regular season : 1-8-1

...Big difference.

We may not have done good, but we had to many good times. 

Our seniors were the best.

Friendships were made across the whole team. 

I'm going to miss these girls with all my heart 

<3

Kenna's 16th birthday!

We like to sit in our team lockers

We bring a LOT of stuff to our games. Our bags get realllllly heavy.

Sometimes, we all like each other, and are excited to play soccer

We own the back seat. Duncan and Court on the right side. 2nd to last seat, and 3rd to last seat. Syd and I on the left, same seats.

We go to March Of The Titans as a team. 

We play soccer on the track, boys against girls, keep away.

To many memories made.

We like to actually become friends, and sleep over together.

Syd, Me, Jayd, and Dunc like to wake up at 7 to go and watch our boys play soccer

Adrenaline <3

Party rock dancing and cheering

Best Friends Forever

We are ridiculously proud of the school we represent.

Every once in awhile, we wear normal clothes when we hang out.

We tie-dye shirts and make them match. Because we are a cute team and can do that.

90 percent of the time, we can't be serious.

Best friends anyone could ask for

Best friend Jaydin! 

Love my baby girl!

These girls are the young ones. We try to help them with life, soccer, and most importantly...BOYS!

My little Sisters and I

These seniors made this year worth while.

We had to wait. For a long time. For the buses. Very annoying.

Pictures of us on the bus are our favorites.

I'd date us...wouldn't you?

The rides got ridiculous. So did we.

We OWNED that back seat

Last games make me sad..

Never thought my best friends/sisters would be 2 years younger than me.

These girls became best friends.

Funny story. We make each other mad. So we start fighting...in the middle of the main hallway. When we are done, we look up to see all of the wrestlers had been watching..and they were clapping. Lesson learned : If you and your best friend are going to fight, do it where the wrestlers can see you. 

People finally realized how cool we were and joined in the party in the backseat

Our coach and our amazing seniors. We look up to them SO much <3

How they expect us to be serious...I will never know. Hopefully, we can be half of what our seniors meant to us.

Overall... Best season of my life. I made lasting friendships, amazing memories, and I'm starting to feel better about myself and my decisions.

10 Truths Tuesday

I have a little while left on this Tuesday evening. I'll just throw a quick one together. Keep everyone updated.

1- I've decided I'm not trying out for high school next year. It's been to much stress and pain.
2- I really need some new friends. Girls suck. Easy as that.
3- Boys as friends = good.
4- Boyfriends = very very bad.
5- I kinda sorta love Twitter. Quick status' that are funny or cheesy. It's great.
6- I'm scared to be alone.
7- I don't know what I'd do without my mom. She has been my closest friend lately.
8- The doctors told me I'm out for two months. I have mixed emotions about it.
9- I miss my Ogden Outlaws. Not to sure how much I want to go back right now though.
10- I don't like letting people in my personal life. I'll just keep to myself for now.

Just some thoughts on my mind at the moment.

Thank You

That is all there is to say.
For years, we've grown up with the same young women leaders.
Today, they were released from their callings.
I don't think I have ever seen so many girls and leaders crying that much.

Change is so hard.
Especially with this. We have two leaders who we have really grown with.
Lindsay and Lisa. They were with us through everything.
From starting Jr. High and High school, to boys and family problems.
Saying goodbye to them was so hard.

We love our leaders. We look up to them so much.
We are more of a family and friends, not just a group.
They treat us like individuals and care for us in their own way.
I don't know what I would have done without some of these women.

The new leaders will be great.
I'm excited to see what they will do.
But still..
Why does goodbye have to be so hard?
I'm not ready for change.
I love my leaders, my friends, the women I call my 'other mothers'.
Today was hard, but I know there is a reason they had to be released.

We love you, Heritage Ward Young Womens

Yay For Mom's

I miss my mother. She went on vacation this week. Its never really been this hard for me to not have her here...but I miss her. She is only gone for a few days, but she left at a really bad time. Soccer = sucks. I hate it. I'm so ready to quit. I don't have anyone but her to talk to about it. And she's gone.. Boys suck. Whatever. I had my pity party, I am over it. Girls will always be catty and annoying. Its just a part of high school. My grades? Definitely tanking it this term. I just don't care anymore.
There are a few people who are totally saving me this year. Katie Duncan, Landon Greenhaulgh, Trevor Rasmussen, and a few kids from my classes that are just great.
My mom has been texting me since she left. Its not the same as talking to her in person. I want to tell her how sick I am of it all. She gets it. She went through a ton of the same stuff. She knows I'm struggling. She tries to help over text, and I love her for that. I just can't wait for her to get home to talk to me and actually see how much some of this is killing me.
I don't think I've ever appreciated my mom as much as I do right now. I realize that she is the one person that's been there for me, and will always have my back.
Love you, mama, <3

From a Friend...

Everyday may not be good... but there is something good in everyday.

A Daughter of the Almighty

For you my dear friends, the sky is the limit. 

You can be excellent in every way.

 Respect yourself. 

Do not feel sorry for yourself. 

Do not dwell on unkind things others may say about you.

 Particularly, pay no attention to what some boy might say to demean you.

 He is no better than you. 

In fact, he has already belittled himself by his actions.

The Lord did not send you here to fail.

 He did not give you life to waste it.

 He bestowed upon you the gift of mortality, that you might gain experience, positive, wonderful, purposeful experience that will lead to life eternal.

*President Gordon B. Hinckley, Words of a Prophet:
Daughters of the Almighty, New Era, Nov. 2003

-Ten Truths Tuesday

Its been awhile, so why not post a Ten Truths Tuesday today?

1* I wish I lived in the 1950's.
2* I kinda sorta wish I could sing. Not just play around, but really sing.
3* I love looking back at the memories I made and lived through.
4* My best friends are great. I love that I can talk to them about anything.
5* The Titan girls soccer team is like my second family. We are so so tight this year and it's great.
6* Brown M&M's are my favorite treat.
7* My testimony has grown with only a few weeks of Seminary under my belt.
8* I love the awkward glances you get in the hall from your old friends. I think it's funny that its so different now that people have given up.
9* I'm not diggin' this whole "growing up" thing.
10* I'm loving my life, and I'm loving myself.

Super lame 10 Truths Tuesday, but hey, I liked doing it.

Forgive And Forget

Sometimes, things go awry. You can't help it. Friendships struggle and you tend to lose people. But sometimes, in those rare occasions, you have to forgive and forget. Things have been said and done that seem stupid, but painful. In the end, you find out who your true friends are.
I'm glad we can forgive and forget.
Without some of the close people in my life, I'd be lost.
We are all human. We make mistakes. All of us.
These three words will mean more to me than most any others.
Just

FORGIVE AND FORGET

<3 Love my best friends

Time and Time Again

I've been told, time and time again, the same things.

Be grateful for what you have.
Have a positive attitude.
Live your life to the fullest.
Don't settle for second best.
Always have faith and trust.
Do good.

I think I'm finally understanding why people tell me these things. In short, this last year has not been the best. It's been rough. Between injuries, catty girls, grades slipping up in math class, and other things, it's been hard to deal with. But with help from my friends and family and church leaders...I have a feeling this year is going to be better. Starting out as a junior didn't sound to fun. It would be the year that I'd take my major classes, and I would always be about school. Right now is when we have to start looking at college, and I didn't think I was ready for it.
It's been a week and a half since my junior year has officially started. And so far...it's already a million and one times better. Even if I don't have the same plans, same friends, or even same dreams that I used to, I have  a better look at life.
I'm making the decision now to have a positive attitude about this year. I want to look at my classes and say, yes they may not be the highest classes, but they are the classes that I know I can get through if I work and keep up on my studies. I want to look at people I used to be friends with, and still think of them as wonderful children of God.I want to go through this soccer season, knowing that my team is going to dominate and that we can really go the whole way.
This year is going to be my year. I am going to do whatever I can to experience the life of a teenager. Go to parties, make life long friends, find out who I really am.
Some days will be rough. I know that. But in the end, I know what I'm supposed to be doing, and where I am supposed to be going. That is what will keep me pushing until the end.

I hope someone out there reads this. I hope it is something they can use in their own life. Don't be afraid to take chances this (school) year.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

I know this year may seem rough, but you can do it. I believe in you out there. I believe in myself. That's all you can ask for at the end of the day.

For Those Who Are Struggling

Check out this article on KSL.com. I think it might help some of you out. You can look it up Here

I Am From

I am from:

• Looking through a camera
• Old skits, vacations, tears, laughter
• Summer under bright stars
• Meeting the crazy people I trust my secrets and hopes with
• Relationships and heartache, but pulling through
• Running races and scoring goals
• My Teams;My Family; My Friends; My school; My Life.

These are what make me...me.
An English assignment we had to do, that I found interesting. Where and what are you from?

He's Here!

Who, may you ask?

Why...only my best friend in the whole wide world!

Yes, indeed, it is Trevor Rasmussen!

We have been best friends since 3rd grade.

Our story is that we met in Spectrum, an advanced placement schooling class.

We were about 8 or 9 years old.

We had that class together..then 4th grade.. Even 5th grade. We ironically had 6th grade together. Same teachers, same classes, same best friend.

We moved onto Junior High together. We didn't get to talk as much, but we never wavered as being best friends. 

He sadly moved at the end of 8th grade to Maryland. One of the hardest things I've had to do was say goodbye to him.

He visited last year in July. I wasn't able to see him, because I was in California for a soccer tournament. You can imagine how hard that was for me.. I'd have to wait another year to *hopefully* see him.

This year, his family got the opportunity to come out and visit again.

I have been planning on seeing him for months now.

And today was the day he came to visit me.

I was shaking when I saw him. It had been 2 years to long. 

We hugged, I cried, we hugged some more. 

We went to visit our old friend Josh Brough. 

It was always us three. Trevor, Josh, and I. All the way through elementary school. Those two were my best friends and I'd trust them with anything. Once we started talking...it was like old times. Like nothing had changed. I missed it so much. 

Even though he lives states and hours away, I still am close to this kid. I'm so grateful that I got to grow up with him. He is a big part of my life, even if we don't see each other a ton. I adore him and can't wait to see him again. 

Today was the best day I've had in a LONG time.

 <3

I've Learned Something

At this time.. boys aren't even worth it. It's safer to be friends than anything serious right now. I've lost friends from relationships. The boys I have been with, and even their friends I got close with.
I had a little summer fling this week. Just a boy I liked, and he like me too. We were going to try out a relationship. The only rule we had was if it was going to hurt our friendship, we'd forget the relationship and stick with being friends. I felt we were forgetting the friendship in the midst of the flirting. I told him that honestly. Now, we aren't on speaking terms. He is making it seem like we were married and I wasn't a good wife... How does that work out? It wasn't even a serious relationship. Whatever though, it's his loss, right?
My friend has been struggling with a boy of her own. They had a thing this summer but now it seems to be dwindling... Does she try and mend the relationship? Or just go back to normal and be friends?
 Why in the world must we deal with this? We put our trust in a boy, and he goes and takes our heart out and just plays around with it.

Girls, take pride in who you are. Don't let a boy dictate your life. You are strong and capable of living your own life. Don't depend on having a boyfriend. We have to stick together as females.

It's Okay To Not Be Happy

Sometimes, life is hard. It hits you over and over again, trying to tear you down. Right now, I have friends that are struggling. I'm struggling. Things just don't ever seem to get easier. People expect you to be happy all the time. Sometimes...it's just not possible. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be angry. Just know that things are going to look up, and one day, through all of the madness, life will be happy and good again.

I Got You

Marko and Melanie from So You Think You Can Dance

Don't forget the lyrics, ok?

And So It Begins...

High school season is officially here.

Welcome back 2 hour practices.

Hello workouts everyday of the week.

Well, hi there 31 new girls that have to learn to work together.

I made Syracuse High School's girls soccer team for the second year in a row.

I'm so excited to be playing again this year. I've gotten to know the vetrans from last year and we are all pretty tight. Hopefully we can get used to the new freshys and sophmores.

Bad news. First practice of the official high school season, and I messed up my hips...again. I was running and I felt something pull and pop and move. The pain was prominant in the inital moment, but it's started to die down. Fingers crossed that they start to heal, and not decrease in health.

On a side note...10 days until Trevor is home... I can't wait to see him!

I'm On tumblr

Its a second blog, and it's just for me.

Wanna find it? Just look here

Follow and read it if  you'd like, it'll be interesting.

Hello, I Love You

Hello, I love you... Can you tell me your name?
Hello, I love you... Can I please play your game?
Hello, I love you... Can I please be your friend?
Hello, I love you... I hope this doesn't end.
Hello,  I love you... Can I give you a hug?
Hello, I love you... I hope this doesn't bug.
Hello, I love you... Can I ring on your bell?
Hello, I love you... It will make my day swell!
Hello, I love you... And I wrote you this song...
Hello, I love you... And I hope this last's long!

Rendition of "Hello, I Love You"
Made By: Emily Elizabeth George and Courtney Lyn Hamilton
on July 29th, 2011 at 10:40 p.m.

10. Truths. Tuesday.

It will still be Tuesday for about another 30-45 minutes. So I will hurry and post a 10 Truths Tuesday!

Truth 1: I hate when people forget plans we have made. Especially when they meant a lot to one individual.

Truth 2: So Small - Carrie Underwood is hitting home for me right now.

Truth 3: I miss my ward family. Haven't been able to go for about 2-3 weeks now and I can't wait to get back.

Truth 4: I wish I could sing.

Truth 5: I may seem like a dumb girl sometimes, but I'm really smart. I promise.

Truth 6: I am really sensitive... I try to act strong in front of others, but alone, I'm a wreck.

Truth 7: I'm terrified for soccer try outs next week. Stressing so much.

Truth 8: Degrassi;Switched at Birth; King Of Queens; My addictions at the moment.

Truth 9: I am a Daughter Of God <3

Truth 10: Life Is Good

Inspiration

As I sit here, trying to come up with something to say, I'm at a loss. Normally, I would have something to write about, but at this moment, I have nothing. No words of advice, no fun exciting trips, nothing interesting.

I could write about friends. How I'm in the midst of mending things with some. Partying with my two best girlfriends. Saying goodbye to one of my best friends as she leaves for her mission.

I could say something about soccer. How I have had over 30 hours of it in the past week and a half. I could mention how Syracuse High Lady Titan Soccer Team took first in the annual Kofoed Tournament at Weber State. Maybe I could slip in that I'm going to California with the Outlaws for a huge tournament.

Some would write about their family. Mine was here for 15 days. I had fun. To many people in our house. It's good to be able to sit and relax in quietness.

But I'll just keep to myself. I'll look for something inspiring to write about. Who knows, maybe you'll see a new quote up on here soon.

Soccer will be the death of me

Yet I still love it?

I'm off for a fun week at WSU for a camp! And then the high school tournament. Plus my own (Outlaw) practices...I might die...

Until then, be happy, love life, don't change,

Read your scriptures,
Pray,
and SMILE

10 {ten} Truths Tuesday

Its catching on! Many of you have started it. I know it seems silly, but sometimes, it comes in handy.

So...What are my new "Ten Truths"?

/\ Truth 1 Brady Blackley is my new best friend. He is a fabulous listener!

/\ Truth 2 I'm over my secret love. I'll always crush on him, but I'm happy with things right now.

/\ Truth 3 I'm in love with Taylor Swift music right now. She knows exactly how I'm feeling.

/\ Truth 4 Boys are dumb. Really. Friends is safer and smarter.

/\ Truth 5 I bore my testimony for the first time in months in Young Women's Sunday...Terrifying, but so needed.

/\ Truth 6 I have not sworn in two weeks. I'm proud of myself.

/\ Truth 7 Sometimes, it's ok to yell at your best friends. It fixes a lot, and gets the problems over with and done.

/\ Truth 8 At 11:11, almost every night. I make a wish. About life, soccer, boys, everything.

/\ Truth 9 I think mosquito's like me...just a bit to much.

/\ Truth 10 I love my siblings. Even though we fight and disagree a lot (A LOT) we are still best friends. Love you, Carson and Gracie!

Take a second and do your 10 truths. It's the new thing!

Ignite The Sky

Fireworks always seem to amaze me. How something can only look so little on the outside, yet be so big and beautiful when you give it time to ignite? It is such an interesting concept.

Tonight, July 4th, was the day to honor our country and how great it is.

The fireworks tonight, were spectacular. How they brightened up the sky; how they made you feel like life was ok; and how they just make you happy.

Spent the evening with friends. It was a blast!

Not much else to say, but thanks to the men and women that serve our country.

Fake It 'Til You Make It

I have an example in my life. Brianna Brough! She is seriously one of my best friends and she is such an example to me. I look up to her and turn to her for anything. After all of these lovely friend dilemma's I've been having, I needed someone to talk to. She has been through anything you can imagine. Her biggest peace of advice? "Fake it 'til you make it"

So you know what? I'm not going to let them get the best of me. They can't tear me down. With all that people throw at me, I know I can take it. In my patriachal blessing, it says that when the time comes, I will be standing with my armor ready to fight. I have a feeling it's time. I have to keep my true friends close, and I can't forget who I am. If I don't change who I am, I will come out on top. You think you can change me? You think you can hit me over and over again and I'll be ok with that? 1. You can't change who I am. And 2. You don't have any right to judge me, when you've done similar things. I have tried to work it out with you and make the best of our summer and our high school career. You obviously don't care.

NEITHER DO I.

Marilyn Monroe has said, "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."   

It's my life, I'll live it how I want. I am strong. I am independent. I am capable of making my life the best it can be, and you can't change it.

Next time you see me, even when I'm not feeling the best, I will fake it and show you that you haven't affected me at all. I have my true friends. The people that wouldn't leave my side. And they treat me like an individual. We have our differences, but they accept me. So you can go on and change who you are. That's your own personal choice and it'll hopefully be the best for you. I will fake it, until I make it out of high school, and out of these silly little games we keep playing.

Good luck to you out there. The struggle and heartache isn't worth my time.

Be Happy

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Be happy.

 Life is full of mishaps and sadness. 

Look past it.

Be brave.

Fall in love.

Have heart.

Give all the time.

Care for others.
Be honest.
Have fun.

BE HAPPY

It's A Gift

"Boy, why'd you let me go to bed last night,
with tears in my eyes, tears in my eyes?
Why'd you let me go to bed last night,
cryin' myself to sleep.
If it only happened just one time, maybe I'd think that you and I'd be just fine.
But you let me go to bed last night, with tears in my eyes, yeah.."

-Andrew Allen; Tears In My Eyes

Crying is ok. It's a release. In seminary a few months ago, we talked about the gift of weeping. Trust me...I don't like it. It makes me feel weak and helpless. Sometimes, it's ok to cry. Times are hard. As a teenager, we are put to the test. Which friends to choose, is this the right decision, should I like this boy? And so much more. We pray. We read our scriptures. We try to choose the right, but sometimes it feels so wrong. 

It breaks my heart to see others cry. I try to be the shoulder they need to cry on. 

...Where is my shoulder to cry on?

I don't know how many times in the past few weeks I have gone to bed with tears in my eyes. Over boys, friends, lost relationships, everything in between. I don't feel good enough. I have a low self esteem. And I feel alone. It doesn't mean I am. I do have a few friends {I.E. Emily and McCall} that I can count on for anything. 

I feel like I have given up. I've given up on trying, and I've given up on caring. I wanted a positive attitude, but I got a neutral one you could say. I feel so platonic now. Never happy, but never sad. I don't know what that means. 

Honestly, I'm done trying. Go with the flow..? We'll see if I can.

I don't mean to write continuously redundant and pathetic posts. I just need to vent, and even if it's to complete strangers, it's helping. 

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I wanted change... But I didn't expect this.
Don't you love when you start to feel like you are losing your very best friend? Greatest feeling ever.
Or how about when you have lost every single one of your group of friends? They tell you that they love you and they will stand by you, and then disappear? This has seriously been the greatest summer ever. Or not, whatever. Yeah, it's pretty much sucked. Losing almost all of my friends, that's exactly what I wanted to happen. I don't know why its all happening, but I know that I kind of asked for it. I want things to be how they were...just for a minute. Let's count...shall we? How many friends could I call right this very second and just talk to? About 3. How many did I have before the summer started? To many to count. I honestly am losing people I care about. I'm done with all this drama. I want my old friends back...Is that to much to ask? Honestly, go ahead and conform. Go ahead and be immature and stupid. There is a line, and you crossed it. I pray every night things get better...Do they? Not yet.
I wanted an unforgettable summer and I got what I wanted.

10 Truths Tuesday

Rules: 

You must have 10 truths

You must be with out a doubt, undeniably, one hundred percent, truthful.

You can not be worried about what others will say.

Its time for another 10 Truths Tuesday from Courtney!

I know I already posted today,  but its been awhile since I've done this.

My Ten Truths:

I'm secretly in love with a boy...but I can't tell my friends.

I have never appreciated my soccer team more than I do now.

I still feel like I'm not good enough sometimes.

I worry about who watches me. Am I being a good example? The best I can be?

Sophmore year was the worst year of my life. I would never replay it.

I miss my friends so much, it hurts. I wish things had never changed between some of us.

I am all about having a new attitude right now. No judgement to anyone.

I'm jealous of all the relationships I'm seeing right now. I want that.

I don't understand why we have drama. Its petty and pointless.

I'm in the mood for a perfect day. No drama, just friends. Sleep. Happiness.

New Me?

New me?

I've been talking about change.

How I need to change my attitude, 

get out of bad situations,

make something good work.

Well...if this isn't enough change for you...I don't know what is.

I took off about 11 inches of my hair yesterday morning.

I'm donating it to Locks Of Love...

That's the only reason I am somewhat handling this.

I miss my long hair already,

but I can officially say I'm not a hypocrite. 

I wanted change, and I followed through.

My friend Emily told me that yesterday.

New life...New hair...New attitude...New everything.

Always U.N.I.Q.U.E

Never B.O.R.I.N.G

That's My Girl

I wish that I could see myself, for who I am.
Forget everyone else
If I could only catch a peak,
of whats inside I'd never hide
You see,
Way up in the sky, my father divine,
Ruler overseas is watching me.
He sees my every kindness,
Looks through my blindness,
Knows all my weaknesses,
And yet He still says

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.
She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.
She is mine, my daughter divine.
She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

Once in awhile, I can't help but smile
Knowing the Lord has love in store
I'm beginning to see all that he's done for me
It makes my day to hear him say

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.

She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.

She is mine, my daughter divine.

She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

I am born divine, if only I could see that

I can truly shine. It's inside of me!

Sometimes his love, that comes from above,

I may not deserve when I do not serve.

Or when I'm not strong and say something wrong

I can't find my way, that's when I hear him say

That's my girl, my beautiful girl.

She's changing this world, her beauty unfurled.

She is mine, my daughter divine.

She was born to shine. That's My Girl!

That's My Girl

Kristin Thomas

She wrote this song for Laurels camp. Take a second and think about it.

I'm Done Worrying

I'm over it!
I'm done worrying about what everyone is saying
thinking
and doing.
I think it's time I start to live my life for M.E.
You say you don't trust me anymore? I was there for you when you lost your best friend.
Say I'm making stupid decisions? I'm a teenager learning!
I'm sick of worrying about what others say and think.
No, this isn't about just one person. Its about everyone.
Back to my whole "judging" thing awhile ago,
I'm done with caring about how others judge me.
So have fun with friends that don't treat you right,
have fun being perfect.
Life is about experiencing. You mess up, you fix it.
That's what I'm doing.
Rehab for the soul?
Cheesy but true!
It's my life. I'm going to live it to the fullest, experience new things, be stupid, have fun, and just be me.
Don't try and change that, because you can't. Trust me.

This is probably the most uplifting thing I've felt in awhile... I'm taking control of my life again.
And boy? Does it feel dang good.

Its Nights Like Tonight. . .

that I wish would never change. My friends? Things are getting a million times better. McCall and Josh came to my game today...It meant the world to me. None of my friends have ever seen me play..until now. Busted out to music in Josh's car. It was grand. Got home, hung out with my mom, went shopping...AND GOT THE COOLEST THINGS EVER. B'loonies.Greatest invention ever.
Emily and I went to the Park with Joshua Parker Brough. Saw Jaden Ralphs, got to hang out with him. Love that kid!! Then Trevor came. Emily and I busted out to music in my car again, met at Jadens, watched Zoolander. Its such a lousy night, that probably won't be relevant again, but I loved it. Makes me happy that there are guys that can turn your day around like that.

Best Friend

You all know him.

You know he is my best friend.

I dedicate this post to just him.

This kid has changed me for the better.

Without him, I wouldn't have such a strong testimony,

I wouldn't have a greater appreciation for things,

and I wouldn't have my best friend.

We went on a walk this evening.

We talked about life. 

School.

People.

Soccer.

Future.

This is the only kid that I'm afraid to lose.

He is going to do great things in his life, and I want to be a part of them.

I don't know where I would be without him.

He has taught me so much,

inspired me,

made me laugh,

made me love,

put me through so much drama,

and still stayed true to me through everything.

Never change, Joshua.

I love you, and you are the greatest person in my life.